The formula that we found is that the body must make the minimum movement between the maximum number of poses. We created a vocabulary of these poses, and we would go from one pose to the next pose to the next pose as fast as possible. We called it Expressive Idiocy.
—Slava Polunin
Huffy Henry hid the day,
unappeasable Henry sulked.
—John Berryman
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS ARS POETICA
(the Clown offers an invitation) Ready? Let’s do it together: toyboat. (“toyboat.”) toyboat. (“toyboat.”) toyboat toyboat. (“toyboat toyboat.”) Okay, now a jillion times as fast as we can: (together) toy-boat-toy-boat-toiy-byoat-tyo-bott-tyoi-byatt-toy-boyt-toy-boyt-toy boyttyoiboatyoibaoatbaooyutboaytatbyoait
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS POETRY’S IT-KID
What do you know about building a boat with a haircut like that?
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS ARS POETICA I SAID
(the Clown dumps a variety of fruits onto lush green grass… starts lawn mower… makes smoothie… jams straw into earth and sucks.)
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS THE ARTIST STATEMENT
(the Clown turns dead serious) Know any good jokes? (Audience tells a joke.) Hm. I don’t really “get” it. Can you explain it to me? (Audience explains the joke.) I still don’t get it. Can you explain that last part a little bit more? (Audience obliges.) Hm. Mm. That’s really, really, really funny.
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS INFOMERCIAL
Do you have windows in YOUR home?
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS CALIBRATION
(Salesperson power-drills two eyeholes into their poetry book. Begins staring contest with Customer.)
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS A POET WHO WRITES FOR THE PAGE AND THE PAGE ALONE
You wanna be on the team, but you don’t want any game time?
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS BREATH
They say poetry is rooted in you! May I? (the Clown beckons the Audience to allow them to smell their breath) Well that says a lot, that really enhances my thinking about poetry, thank you.
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS A PRE-K ASTROPHYSICIST
Gravity is… gravity is… it’s… like… a bear hug… a bear hug that… that always gets its way…
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS AVE MARIA
Is there anyone here in the room who would consider themselves “graceful”? (No one—or if someone, the Clown ignores them) I thought so. Somebody must’ve made them up.
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS THE NO-ESCAPE ROOM
(the Clown sings, juggling three balls) I’d, like, to show for you, evil in (dropped ball, begin again) I’d, like, to show for you, evil in its mos (dropped ball, begin again) I’d, like, to (dropped ball, begin again) I’d, like, to show for you, evil in its most (dropped ball, begin again) I’d, like, to show for you, evil in its most simple form (dropped ball; drops the other two balls beside it)
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS POOR SPORT
(a mocking, crybaby face) But gravity alwaysssssssss winssssssssssssssss. Grow up.
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY
So what you’re telling me is what it boils down to is other people’s lives fall into two categories: (puts on inflatable life jacket) They look like idiots. (pulls cord—jacket abruptly puffs up, too small for the Clown) Or they know something you don’t.
Hi, I’m Henry.
HELLO MY NAME IS HELLO?
(Audience is arranged into five rows of five across, then the following are whispered through a game of telephone.)
Row 1: “There is nothing…” x… o… x… o… ( )
Row 2: “we can do…” o… x… o… x… ( )
Row 3: “to stop this…” x… o… x… o… ( )
Row 4: “world being…” o… x… o… x… ( )
Row 5: “terrible…” x… o… x… o… ( )
Henry Goldkamp (he/they) is an experimental poet and interdisciplinary artist whose work clowns the boundaries between poetry, visual art, and community performance. He lives in New Orleans, where he co-runs The Splice Poetry Series, acts as intermedia editor for the small press Tilted House, and teaches experimental rhetoric, poetics, and clown studies at Louisiana State University. Recent art, criticism, and performance appear in Annulet, VOLT, Poetry Northwest, Accelerants: An Action Books Poetry Film Series, Triquarterly, Afternoon Visitor, Cobra Milk, DIAGRAM, and Sonora Review, among others. His public art projects have been covered by NPR’s Morning Edition and Time, and he served as artist-in-residence at Mary Sky in Fall 2023.